It's funny how life works. When we are teenagers, we simply cannot WAIT for the next big change. We constantly want everything to be DIFFERENT and NEW. We crave it. We long for it. New...different...exciting...even a little dangerous...
As a former teenager (though one who has been in recovery for 20 years), I remember those feelings vividly. I was as thrill-seeking and ready for the next big thing as the next person - maybe even a little more. But there are some days, I look in the mirror, and I have to wonder this: What happened?
The thrill-seeking daredevil that loved drag racing, rock climbing, drifting down a river full of white water on an inner-tube, and jumping before I counted the cost has been replaced with...fear. Fear of change. Fear of trouble. Fear of - and this is the big one - risking the "okay" that is for the "what if" that might be...
What happened? Well, it's really not that complicated. I became an adult and developed the need to control things, to make things easier, better, and most of all - reflective of MY desires! How can I demonstrate my competency as an adult if I can't control my own life - every aspect of it, in fact? Well, friends, that is where the ultimate fallacy lies. I can't. And the very idea that I could is arrogant in the extreme. And once a supremely logical mind has been faced by a fact like that one, there is only one thing left to do: HOLD ON TO WHAT YOU HAVE AT ALL COSTS!
And so goes the transformation from daredevil risk-taker to timid scaredy-cat. Since I can't control the changes of the future, I will try to keep things from changing. Some people will tell you that never works, but I would contend that it often can...at a high cost. You will maintain, but you will forfeit your future.
Now, at this point, if I were a superior blogger, I would have THE ANSWER TO ALL THIS. I'm not a superior blogger. :) I can only offer this:
Isaiah 42:9 Behold, the former things are come to pass, and new things do I declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them.
He tells us, in His way, in His time. I want a "play-by-play" action plan. He says, "Trust me." I want an instruction manual. He says, "Seek my face." I want it NOW. He says, "Wait." I say, "Why?" He says, "Because it will make you who you are destined to become."
I have a good friend who keeps telling me I just need to learn to watch things unfold. I keep telling my friend I'm no good at that. God keeps telling me, "You'll learn...
Taking this journey one day at a time.....In Christ....
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Canton, Mississippi
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