Hiding Behind the Baggage

Hiding Behind the Baggage

Alesha Leveritt

In reading I Samuel this morning, I was a little disappointed. I always count on my morning scripture reading for inspiration and an “idea” that sparks my mind for the rest of the day. And this morning, I just didn't get it – at least not at first.

The scriptures were I Samuel 9-12: the story of Saul's selection as king. Interesting passages, but nothing jumped out at me until I started writing out some prayer and reflection about my own life. I was talking (whining, really) to God about the fact that I would never achieve what I wanted to in my walk with Christ because of all my baggage. And then suddenly, my memory triggered back to this:

I Samuel 10:20-22 (NIV)

20. 
    
    
    When Samuel gathered all the tribes of Israel, the tribe of Benjamin was picked.
21. 
    
    
    Samuel had them pass by in family groups, and Matri's family was picked. Then he had each man of Matri's family pass by, and Saul son of Kish was picked. But when they looked for Saul, they could not find him.
22. 
    
    
    They asked the Lord, “Has Saul come here yet?”
    The Lord said, “Yes. He's hiding behind the baggage.”

Yep, there it was. Perhaps the greatest excuse for lost Christian potential. The BAGGAGE. We all have it. Of course, some of our baggage is prettier than others. You may have floral baggage with filigrees (something beautiful that you have a hard time leaving behind). My baggage looks a little more like the gym bag that got left in the back of the pick up truck in the rain (story for another time, but trust me, it's UGLY). I have it. You have it. He has it. She has it. We've all got BAGGAGE! And it creates a very convenient little place to hide when we are afraid of what God is calling us to do.

Saul didn't think he could be king. He'd started out that day searching for Daddy's lost donkeys. Donkey-hunter to king is a pretty big leap for anybody, much less with no preparation. Yes, Saul had prophesied, but only once. Yes, his heart had been changed, but that did NOT mean an absence of fear. Here was Saul, donkey-hunter, tall to the point of being awkward, and after one training session, he was to be king? Saul counted every failure he had ever experienced, every time he had made the wrong choice, every time he had spoken too soon and appeared foolish, every time someone had told him he wouldn't amount to much. He packed them in some bags and camped out behind them. The baggage was real, but more importantly, so was Saul's fear. He used the baggage to build a wall to keep him away from the destiny God had planned.

How many of us are guilty of that same thing? God calls you to do something, and you say, “Oh, no Lord. I can't possibly do that. I'm a failure. I've messed up too many times. Nobody will give me any credibility. I'm an ex-con. I'm divorced. I'm not well-educated. I'm too educated. I can't speak well. My mother dressed me funny. No, not me. These bags here will hold me back. Just move on and find someone who doesn't have all this . . . this . . . STUFF.” Do any of us realize (preaching to myself again) that when we do that, we are placing our baggage in front of God's greatness? We are basically making the statement that GOD who created heaven and earth pales in comparison to STUFF , BAGGAGE?

Today, stop hiding behind your past failures. Stop hiding behind your insecurities. Take the step of faith. Step out from behind the baggage and into the future God has promised you! 

What It Takes to Be Called - Part 3

Part III – The cleansing of the lips

So far, there has been a terrible loss, the foundation of the temple has been shaken, and Isaiah has realized that he is undone and bereft in his sin.  What more could be required?  Well, this is the part  of the story we all know – a cleansing by fire.

That realization comes to us all at some point.  We are undone; we are “unclean”.  Sometimes that's a result of things that we DO actively.  Other times that feeling is a result of the actions of those who surround our lives.; their bad decisions affect us, and though we are not guilty, we still feel the burden of shame.  Purification comes, but always at a cost.

Isaiah 6:6 – Then flew on of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar:  (7) And he laid it upon my mouth and said, “Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin is purged.”

Simple truth:  burning hurts.  Bad.  I remember being around 10 and walking into the kitchen.  I could smell the fresh cornbread in the air, and just as I expected, there it sat, on the stove.  In the cast iron skillet, looking so inviting and ready for me to cut into.  Since I was a short 10, I thought it would be a great idea to move it to the table, so that I could more easily reach and cut the cornbread.  So, I reached out and grabbed the handle of the cast iron skillet with a firm grip . . . you can guess the rest.  It had been out of the oven for barely a minute, and my hand was COOKED.  Many memories will fade, but the pain of that burn on my right hand?  Not any time soon.  Pain like that you remember – pain from a burn.

The purification of the called is like that.  It hurts.  There is a modern myth that when you bring your sins to Christ and begin to follow Him, things will go smoothly.  Life will be kind.  The  birds will sing with you as you do housework and little mice will appear to help you with your chores.  I know that sounds a lot like Cinderella, but truthfully that's how a lot of Christians think.  “Hey, I love God now.  He will make my life easy.”  No dice.  If you are going to work for Him, you will suffer.  He will cleanse you for free, but moving forward into deeper waters of purification for service?  That doesn't come without paying the price.

Before you pray for God to use you as never before, to open the doors of opportunity and help you to grow into your abilities, be sure that you have counted the cost.  Looking back through my journals, I started praying that prayer six years ago.  These past five years have been Job-like in the intensity of suffering and loss.  Am I sorry I prayed the prayer?  No, not at all.  But I'm very glad that I did not know six years ago how much I would have to sacrifice, how much I would have to lose, the price I would have to pay, the burning of purification that I would have to endure.  I'm not sure that, knowing what would come, I would have been brave enough to take the plunge.

Somewhere within the last few weeks, I've come to this realization about myself:  I have been refined by fire.  I am ready to be used, for the first time in my life.  I am ready to step into the place He wants me to go.  Where is that?  At this point, your guess is as good as mine.  But I'm ready to go.  Just waiting on the marching instructions.  Of course, if they are like Isaiah's . . . but hey, that's the next entry . . .